I'm ashamed to ask for help like this, but I'm in a place, and I'm so scared. I don't know how to dig myself out of this......
I can't put a picture up. This isn't my computer, and I don't have an online picture.
I have been disabled since 1992. I have 7 spinal injuries, 3 surgeries to fix it, which only made it worse, and on top of that, they found a brain tumor in my left posterior lobe of my brain this past February. My husband left me, because he said I was a handicap, useless, and defective. My brother was all I had that helped me with the things I am unable to do for myself. I had saved up $800 to go towards an apartment, out of the $1,000 needed for deposit, 1st months rent, and utility deposits, to finally have my own home. I don't even have a couch, a kitchen table and chairs, a vacuum cleaner, a microwave, and other things to set up house, but I'm not even concerned with that right now. I just need a roof over my head...... My brother died owing me money that I had been saving for over a year and a half to have my own apartment. I ended up losing it helping him, and his kids. His truck had broke down, and he needed it to get his son back and forth (son is 16 and slow...). I loaned him $500 to fix it. He passed away 13 days ago, and hadn't been able to pay me back when he died. His 3 sons didn't have anything to wear to his funeral, and he didn't have anything decent to be buried in. When I saw what they were planning on burying him in, I broke down in tears. I couldn't stand it. They were going to bury him in the casual shirt that he always wore to clubs on the weekends, and I couldn't have him meeting God wearing that. I ended up having to spend the other $300 I had saved, plus $80 more out of my social security check. I only receive $598 a month in social security, so it will take me at least another year and a half to save that much up again.My brother was everything to me, so I'm having to deal with losing him, plus not knowing what to do to get my own apartment. I'm not good at asking for help, because I've never done it before, but I have no idea what to do. Having to deal with losing the most important, and precioius person in my life, and my health has just pushed me so far, that I can't cope with it all. I'm humbly begging for help to be able to get my own apartment, so that I can have a roof over my head, and of course a place to be alone to mourn my brother without this problem to worry about on top of the pain that has broken my heart, and my spirit. Please help me........ I'm aching so badly inside, and I don't know what I'm going to do.
